Me, before thirty.

My best friend and I have this great tradition of completely blowing off each others birthdays. It started when I was nineteen and she was eighteen. That was a shitty year. We were roomates along with her little brother, except the brother had to go back home after six months. We moved into a little yellow house that felt like a cluster of shoe boxes. I was waiting tables at a shitty chain restaurant a couple of towns over. She was working at a Pizza Hut and dating her would be husband.

The two of us decided that we just would act like it wasn't happening. No shitty cake or cheesy presents, no balloons. Nothing to remind each other of the futility of our lives... so far. Strangely enough there hasn't been enough change for either one of us to cancel out this tradition. We both still hate our birthdays. She's divorced and I have yet to make that leap at commitment, sometimes I wonder if I ever will.

But, in happier news there was this movie I saw a few years ago.. About two old guys finishing up this dream list of things to do before they die. The Bucket List great concept. So, i'm giving myself until I'm thirty. And I'm writing a list. All of the shit I've been to afraid to do. And, I'm going to do it. Probably.


1. Stay. Here is as good a place as any. I've tried other places and they were just different not better or worse. Just different. So, after ten years of not making it over a year and a half of living in one location I am going to stay here. No more looking on craigslist and coolworks for new oppurtunities no more convincing myself that the tips will be better In The East or South of here or talking myself into being by the Ocean. I am going to stay here. Make a home for myself.

2. Date. Sounds simple except I always reject the idea of anybody and then re-think it weeks later. So, the next guy who asks me out I'm going to go. And give it a real chance. not feel guilty about past mistakes. I have been shitty before, I have failed but I'm going to not reject every oppurtunity.

Whatever those are the more serious of them. Here is my own little Bucket list. I will add to it as I see fit. But, once it's written on here it can't be taken away.

1. go skydiving.
2. Take a roadtrip through Wine Country in California.
3. Get my tattoos removed.
4. Drink a bottle of Bordeaux in Bordeaux.
5. Volunteer in Vietnam at an orphanage.
6. Fall in love.
7. Be debt free by 2011.
8. Wake up before nine in the morning.
9. See the Aurora Borealis.
10 See a sunrise in the Mediteranean.
11. Dance with someone.
12. Grow my hair long again.